I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
