Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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