my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
