don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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