Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize