So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
