She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
