I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize