I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
