Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
