____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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