you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
