It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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