I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize