i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
