bring money and cleavage
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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