We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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