Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
