Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
