I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
