that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
