Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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