her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
