This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
