well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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