The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
