okay pat passed out under dana's car
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize