look no pants
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize