i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So much rum. So many feels.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just had sex on a roof
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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