so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
