remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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