3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
