I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
