There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just forgot I was standing up.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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