the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
