You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
