hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
