I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
