Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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