lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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