If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize