so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
