I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
