At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize