dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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