member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
