Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
