I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
