Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
