i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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