I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Randomize
