I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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