so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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