I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
