i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
