Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
