4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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