He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
