That's intense
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
