This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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