I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
