Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
