I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
my poor anus
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
