You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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