In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
