i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
