I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
