Sponge bath it is.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize