I faked an abortion last night.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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