Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
