that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize