A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
