I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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