he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
