She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i've created a new STD.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
