No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
