Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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