she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
